The Year From Hell- one decade later

January 2010... this was the beginning of my year from hell! I started this list in January and now I have tried to complete it before the June 27, 2010 anniversary. If this was a movie, this would have been the climax for the year. The year began with one teenage son in emotional turmoil, my mother dying, my father-in-law dying and husband spiraling out of control. June 30th, 2010 my husband took his last drink. Soon after that he entered Alcoholic Recovery and was diagnosed with PTSD and began a long awaited healing of the mind from the Vietnam War. The year ended with the beginning of a true relationship with Jesus Christ for both my husband and myself. Many say you have to hit bottom before you can look up and start living.

Things I have learned, or I’m still working on, in the past 10 years. 

1. No matter who tells me, I’m not worth anything, I am always a child of God. Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 
2. SERVE GOD...praise God in all I do, not myself. Do everything with Love. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Remember that the Lord will give you as a reward what he has kept for his people. For Christ is the real Master you serve. (Colossians 3:23-24)
   
3. I’m not in a competition. I live my life to the best of my ability. I cheer on my friends or help them as needed. I am not better than anyone and no one is better than me. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
4. Money does not make you happy. Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
5. I am not responsible for other people’s decisions in life. Everyone needs to make their own mistakes and learn from them.
6. Don’t bother making plans. Expectation is the root of all heartache. Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much of them.  Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. 
7. Step back and listen. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know the I am God.
8. Stay out of it... if at all possible, stay out of the fight. It’s not worth my mental health to get involved. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
9. Actions determine priorities. 2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
10. Be a friend when needed, but don’t be an enabler. Same with parenting. 
11. Demand respect, don’t be the rug that people wipe their feet on. Get off the floor.
12. One of the most wonderful and heartbreaking realities in life... my children become independent and most of their plans do not include me.
13. You can love people without liking their lifestyle and choices in life. 1 John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
14. Friends can become family and family do not need to be friends. 
15. Surround yourself with people that are good for your spiritual and emotional health. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
16. Worldly things do not define me..my heart does. As long as I, and God, know where my heart is, that is all that matters. ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:2-Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
17. People who care about me and love me will always return, but it has to be their decision, not mine. 
18. I am only one person, I can only do so much in a 24 hour period. I’m trying to be realistic about what gets done and what will need to wait. I still have much to learn from Mary in this Martha world. Luke 10: 38-42.
19. I can only help someone who wants help.
20. Be intentional - think of other’s wants and needs. James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
21. Along the same lines, take time in each day to be present. Enjoy my husband, children and grandchildren. 
22. Take time in each day to do something for myself. Lately this has been crocheting and macrame. 
23. FORGIVE... 70x7! Hurt people hurt people. Consider the source. Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 
24. Count my blessings everyday! 
25. Use God’s word in difficult times. 
26. Life on this earth is short... there are still many who need to hear what Jesus has done and can do for them. Jesus can do anything. Philippians 4:13 I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me.
27. Sometimes I can be lonelier in a big crowd than when I am alone in my own home. Deuteronomy 31:8 -The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” . 
28. Use my talents to glorify God! Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
29. God will meet me where I am. 
30. Don’t worry.... PRAY! Philippians 4:6- do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
31. I’ve come a long way in my spiritual and emotional life in the past 10 years. And I still have a long journey ahead of me. I still cry on holidays and many other days, but get through them, with God’s help and move on. Construction not complete... please be patient. 

Someone once told me that my relationship with Jesus was like having Jesus come to my house and I would greet him through the screen door. I always knew who Jesus was and what I needed to do was throw open the screen door and invite him in. I have thrown open that screen door.