The Year From Hell- one decade later

January 2010... this was the beginning of my year from hell! I started this list in January and now I have tried to complete it before the June 27, 2010 anniversary. If this was a movie, this would have been the climax for the year. The year began with one teenage son in emotional turmoil, my mother dying, my father-in-law dying and husband spiraling out of control. June 30th, 2010 my husband took his last drink. Soon after that he entered Alcoholic Recovery and was diagnosed with PTSD and began a long awaited healing of the mind from the Vietnam War. The year ended with the beginning of a true relationship with Jesus Christ for both my husband and myself. Many say you have to hit bottom before you can look up and start living.

Things I have learned, or I’m still working on, in the past 10 years. 

1. No matter who tells me, I’m not worth anything, I am always a child of God. Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 
2. SERVE GOD...praise God in all I do, not myself. Do everything with Love. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Remember that the Lord will give you as a reward what he has kept for his people. For Christ is the real Master you serve. (Colossians 3:23-24)
   
3. I’m not in a competition. I live my life to the best of my ability. I cheer on my friends or help them as needed. I am not better than anyone and no one is better than me. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
4. Money does not make you happy. Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
5. I am not responsible for other people’s decisions in life. Everyone needs to make their own mistakes and learn from them.
6. Don’t bother making plans. Expectation is the root of all heartache. Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much of them.  Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. 
7. Step back and listen. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know the I am God.
8. Stay out of it... if at all possible, stay out of the fight. It’s not worth my mental health to get involved. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
9. Actions determine priorities. 2 Timothy 2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
10. Be a friend when needed, but don’t be an enabler. Same with parenting. 
11. Demand respect, don’t be the rug that people wipe their feet on. Get off the floor.
12. One of the most wonderful and heartbreaking realities in life... my children become independent and most of their plans do not include me.
13. You can love people without liking their lifestyle and choices in life. 1 John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
14. Friends can become family and family do not need to be friends. 
15. Surround yourself with people that are good for your spiritual and emotional health. 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
16. Worldly things do not define me..my heart does. As long as I, and God, know where my heart is, that is all that matters. ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:2-Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
17. People who care about me and love me will always return, but it has to be their decision, not mine. 
18. I am only one person, I can only do so much in a 24 hour period. I’m trying to be realistic about what gets done and what will need to wait. I still have much to learn from Mary in this Martha world. Luke 10: 38-42.
19. I can only help someone who wants help.
20. Be intentional - think of other’s wants and needs. James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
21. Along the same lines, take time in each day to be present. Enjoy my husband, children and grandchildren. 
22. Take time in each day to do something for myself. Lately this has been crocheting and macrame. 
23. FORGIVE... 70x7! Hurt people hurt people. Consider the source. Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 
24. Count my blessings everyday! 
25. Use God’s word in difficult times. 
26. Life on this earth is short... there are still many who need to hear what Jesus has done and can do for them. Jesus can do anything. Philippians 4:13 I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me.
27. Sometimes I can be lonelier in a big crowd than when I am alone in my own home. Deuteronomy 31:8 -The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” . 
28. Use my talents to glorify God! Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
29. God will meet me where I am. 
30. Don’t worry.... PRAY! Philippians 4:6- do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
31. I’ve come a long way in my spiritual and emotional life in the past 10 years. And I still have a long journey ahead of me. I still cry on holidays and many other days, but get through them, with God’s help and move on. Construction not complete... please be patient. 

Someone once told me that my relationship with Jesus was like having Jesus come to my house and I would greet him through the screen door. I always knew who Jesus was and what I needed to do was throw open the screen door and invite him in. I have thrown open that screen door. 

Day 24 Bob and Kate's Great Adventure-The things I learned on this trip!

 On Day 24, we were only 7 hours from home now and that felt good. We got on the road and made it home by early afternoon, driving through Missouri and Illinois.

The things I have learned on this trip will forever change the way we travel.

1. Travel with someone you get along with. We are great traveling companions. Bob doesn't mind driving and Kate is the great navigator. We like to drive and don't take frequent stops when we are trying to get somewhere.  We enjoy going off the beaten path and seeing where real America lives. We like to have picnics and don't eat out for every meal. We like to listen to the same music. We will stay in a storefront motel for the experience. We take care of each other.

2. Use a vehicle with plenty of room and good gas mileage. Our Honda Odyssey was the perfect vehicle for this trip. We were able to spread out in the back if we needed to and had plenty of room to take the 2-3 seasons of clothes we needed for the trip. Our van got 28 MPG for the whole trip.

3. On the same line as above, fill up before going on long stretches of desolate roads. There were many back roads we took that were miles from any kind of civilization, let alone a gas station.  We were very careful about knowing how much gas we had if the maps showed few towns in our travels.

4. Use Priceline or Trivago only to look at prices. Do not make your reservation with them. Before I called a motel I would look on the App to find out what the lowest price would be. I would call the motel and ask if they had rooms and how much. If they said an amount above what was on the App I would tell them I can get it for less online. They always gave us the cheaper price. Also, I had one place that was much cheaper then app when we walked in and asked for a room.

5. Get a reservation before traveling across desolate countryside, where you may not have service. We traveled from the "4 corners" to the Grand Canyon on a desolate road that had one motel with outrageous prices. We walked in and walked out and moved on west to another motel that was closer to the Grand Canyon. It was still expensive, because of the location, but we were able to get a room for less than the other place and we were closer to our final destination the next morning.

6. Join a motel plan with points and free nights.  We were able to get 3 free nights saved up on this trip with Choice Motels membership. This was a great chain of motels and we were able to find one about 75% of the time on the road. Most of them were clean and had breakfast in the morning. The prices were reasonable and comparable to other motels in the areas.

7. Check your data plan before leaving home. We have unlimited data with our plan, but that does not include roaming data. There is very little Sprint service in the west where we had traveled and used our roaming data within the first 3 days. We shut off our roaming data after that and only used when we were searching for a place to stay.

8. Travel in October or the end of September when going out west. This was the perfect time for weather. Although we did have an extra day before we went into Yellowstone the weather was great and the crowds were minimal. North Dakota was bitter cold but the rest of the trip was perfect weather. Many motels and attractions close on October 1st so make sure you check those.

9. Have a picnic for one meal a day. Take a large cooler with waterproof containers. We stopped at Wal-Marts for lunch meat, bread, salads, fruit, etc. Sometimes we would eat out for lunch and just snack for dinner. This saved us a lot of money. Most of the motels we stayed in had breakfast in the morning.

10. Don't get in a hurry. When we planned this trip, it was suppose to take us 16 days to get to Albuquerque, NM. We decided to leave 19 days early, just in case we ran into difficulties or extra site seeing on the road. Because we had extra days we were able to stay in Cody an extra day because of snow in the mountains and also were able to add a couple places to our trip. We made it to Albuquerque one day early.

Watch our last video of the whole trip:

https://youtu.be/WBCaJaojTY4

Day 23 Bob and Kate's Great Adventure

Day 23 we said our goodbyes to all the great Army buddies we had spent the last 4 days with! Kind of sad we only get to see them every 2 years. We will need to travel the United States more and see where they live.

We ate breakfast and headed East towards home. We drove through New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma and spent the night in Joplin Missouri. We had spent the night in Joplin many times on our way to Texas so we know the area and it was a good time of night to stop.

Not a very eventful day. Just lots of driving, sleeping, reading, and catching up on sermons from church.

Day 22 Bob and Kate's Great Adventure

We started out day after breakfast on a trolley tour of the city of Albuquerque. We had a great tour guide and driver that showed us the best of Albuquerque.

We went to see lots of great architecture, the University of  New Mexico, drove down Route 66 and past by many of the museums in town.

Many of the homes in Albuquerque are Adobe style homes with flat roofs. The one home we got to see was the home of Architect Bart Prince. They call it the Space Ship house. It was really cool and the garage next door was even fun.

The University is the only Law school and Medical School in New Mexico and the campus was very pretty.

After our morning tour all the men had a meeting and Bernadette and I went shopping and then back to hotel to get ready for the banquet.

We had a beautiful evening with a great meal, an official ceremony with the National Guard, and a Mariachi Band.

Another crazy story came out today: Bob had a meeting with the men today.  While sitting at the table with someone he started to talk about going home and they asked where home was.  Turns out this man had lived in Bloomington, went to Uhigh  and also lived on White Place when newly married. Then Bob found out he had worked for the FBI and asked him if he knew his fishing buddy. It happened to be his partner. What a small world we live in!!

Check out our video of our day:

Day 21 Bob and Kate's Great Adventure

After breakfast we loaded Buses for some tours. First we went to the Nuclear Museum. It was very interesting touring the museum and finding out the origins of Nuclear power, Nuclear bombs and Nuclear war.

We ate lunch at a restaurant at the foot of Sandia Mountain. From the restaurant we could see most of the city of Albuquerque. After lunch we loaded into a Gondola that took us up to 10,000 feet above sea level. Wow, it was so much fun! We could see forever and on the other side of the mountain was a snow ski resort. It was crazy looking down at 150 foot trees that looked so tiny!

After the Gondola ride we got back on the bus and went to the Hot Air Balloon Museum. So much fun finding out the history of Hot Air Balloons.  Part of our group has the opportunity to ride in a hot air balloon tomorrow.  We decided we didn't want to do it.

After our tours we went back to hotel for dinner and karaoke.  Yes, Grandma sang... "What ever will be will be, Que Sera Sera." No evidence of this exists!

Check out our video of the day:

Day 20 Bob and Kate's Great Adventure

We made it to our ultimate destination, Albuquerque, New Mexico. After about 4500 miles. This was the reason for our trip. The map below shows our route that we planned in yellow and the route that we actually took in black.
This is the reunion of the men Bob served beside or replaced in the 8th Battalion of the 4th Field Artillery Unit in Vietnam.

The Reunion committee had an early breakfast waiting for us this morning. We ate by 7:30 and loaded busses to go to the train that would take us to Santa Fe. We had a relaxing train ride with friends and then went to the Plaza in Santa Fe to eat lunch.

We met Buddy and Bernadette in Philadelphia 2 years ago and have kept in touch with them for the past 2 years. They are a great couple and we had a fun time just strolling through Santa Fe for the afternoon. We did a little shopping and we bought a Skip-Bo card game for the train ride back to Albuquerque. The train had 4 seats facing each other and some had tables between the seats. We had a fun time re-teaching Bernadette and teaching Buddy how to play!

God was present yesterday. As we were waiting for the train back to Albuquerque I decided to take the time to talk to Ava, a "little sister". She attends most of the reunions, because her dad served and was killed beside some of these men. I wanted to get her input about Bob contacting the daughter and wife of the man/friend that Bob was with when this man was killed. Bob has been debating when and whether he should contact them as part of his healing process. As I was discussing this with Ava, she introduced me to a wife of a man that had about the same situation and he had tried to contact a man's wife years ago but had no luck. This man walked up and I started to talk about Bob's situation and he started telling me about the wife that he had tried to find. As he was talking, he mentioned the state the man had come from and it was the same state has Bob's friend. I asked the man's name. I'm not sure how I held it together, it was the same man as Bob has talked about and felt responsible for, for the past 40 years.  I took this man to Bob and explained what we just discussed. Bob's mouth dropped open and the discussion began. Bob never knew that there was any other men in the foxhole his friend was killed in. Most likely his friend saved this other man's life by being on top of him. Bob is hoping to fill in some holes in his memory by visiting with this man in the next few days. This was truly a God moment and I am hopeful good will come from this connection.

We returned to Albuquerque and had a Mexican Buffet for our dinner. We had more time to visit anda little time to dance.

This jeep is parked outside the conference room where we have been meeting. Buddy and Bob had to pose.

The evening was concluded by watching the win for the Cubs!

Watch our video for the day:

Day 19 Bob and Kate's Great Adventure

The morning began searching for a Laundromat! We had a weeks worth of clothes in the van and we needed to make sure we had a wardrobe for the next week.  While the laundry was washing the van needed washed and with a car wash next door I couldn't resist. The bugs down here have been huge and the van was a mess. We've had no rain for most our trip and we decided the car wash was a must. The inside of our car was still a mess, but all our laundry is clean.

So with laundry done, we called the hotel that we had reserved for the next 4 nights. This is the beginning of Bob's Army Unit Reunion. The room was not ready so we decided to walk around the mall that is next to the hotel and eat lunch at food court. Also, we were waiting for friends to arrive by air and they met us at the mall. One more call to the hotel and they had a room ready for us.

After checking in to hotel and resting for a bit we headed down to register for the reunion and get information about the next day. It was a fun time meeting up with some of the same people that were at the last reunion.

 

We didn't have enough pictures for a video today!